please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Randomize
