and she was petting her beer can
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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