I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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