Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
