She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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