im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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