why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
