you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
