escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
