somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
