so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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