Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
