I will die if light touches me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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