where am i from again
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
