In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
