i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
