there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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