Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
