so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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