We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
