i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
