Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
