here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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