I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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