i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
