1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize