Cold hands, warm shart.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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