is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
