what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
