He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
