Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize