Sry I called you an 8
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
