I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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