everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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