weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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