if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
