I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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