The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
