I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
