party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
