I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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