I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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