Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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