we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Randomize
