perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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