She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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