like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.