I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day