She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.