So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
