YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
