im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
