I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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