Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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