I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
where does the pee come out of this thing
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
