i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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