Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
