Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize