VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Liz is crying about burritos again.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My bed smells like the plague
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