I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I intend to get homeless drunk
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
