this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
