WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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