i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
