i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
