Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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